13 Weeks

Dearest Stormageddon,
I'm sorry it took me this long to get started.  I knew I wanted to do something for you similar to what I did for your brother, but...well, let's start at the beginning.

Your brother, Tristan, was a surprise.  I'd been told three months before we found out we were pregnant with him that I might never be able to get pregnant thanks to an illness called Polycystic ovarian syndrome  (PCOS).  We weren't trying to have a baby at that point, but it made us a bit sad.

After that, when we realized we could get pregnant, it was all we could do not to tell everyone right away.  In fact, by the time I was 6 weeks pregnant, I think everyone knew!  I had just started a PhD program at UMSL three months before and so it was a lot to plan and prepare and try to stay in the program.

We did!  Despite all of the reflux and jaundice and craziness we went through with your brother, I was able to stay in school and come very close to finishing.  By the time Tristan was two and a half, I knew I really wanted another baby.  Your dad took a bit more convincing that early on!  I kept telling him that I could finish my dissertation and graduate from UMSL beforehand.  It took awhile to get pregnant this time (6 months) after we starting trying, and I was very nervous.  I knew the risk for miscarriage with PCOS was higher and, well, I didn't want to tell too many people about you until we knew that you'd more than likely be coming to join us.

I was scared to start writing you letters too early, either.  What if I started talking to you, telling you stories, and thinking too much about your nursery only to have you leave our lives before we even knew if you were a boy or a girl?

We started telling everyone around mother's day, when I was 12 weeks pregnant.  You were definitely beginning to make an appearance and everyone knew it :D

In some ways, you were harder to keep secret than Tristan would have been.  Mama felt SICK a lot, and it started when she was only 4 weeks pregnant with you!  We didn't even know about Tristan until I was 5 weeks along or so. he idea of "morning sickness" isn't exactly accurate.  Breakfast wasn't appealing, but dinner was often something that sounded far worse.  I felt like I always had a green sheen to my face :(  I didn't really care though, as I thought if it meant you'd be healthier than your brother had been, then I'd happily take a much rougher pregnancy.  I had to blame your brother a LOT though, to get out of evening events and keep people from knowing how sick mama felt.  We told people often that Tristan was overly tired and needed to go home, which was also often true.  Don't worry--I'm sure Tristan will return the favor in future and he'll blame YOU for things to get out of trouble :D

I'll explain your nickname later, but for now your mama (and papa) just wanted to get your story started on paper and let you know that we love you and are excited that you will join our family in November 2012.

Love,
Mama